Posted in Dose of daisy, fulfillment, heartbreak, love, pain, relationships, Self-love, thoughts, wordvomit

Dear Diary…

Today is a new day and I am in a better head space than yesterday.  Am I over the situation? No.  Will I move on from it? Eventually.  Can I let it go? Never.

Why not?

I can not let it go because Reuben is my other half.  When I map out my future plans and career goals I include him.  He’s supposed to one day become my husband.  That is the ultimate goal.  Whether it’s a long-term goal or short-term depends on the alignment of the stars. But, I know that I definitely want it to happen nonetheless.

So, when Reu critics me his words stick like a staple.  See I want us to reflect each other and always compliment one another, but I cannot do that.  It would be too much to ask of him because in his eyes I’m not a college educated, hard-working woman, which is what I strive so hard to remain.  Instead, I am a unmotivated, financial burden.

It’s not that he does not respect my grind he simply just does not understand it because we are on two totally different career paths. That’s fine. To each its own.  I can respect that to a certain extent.

However, there is a BUT!

I can respect his opinion to a certain extent until it is shared with his “associates” or “friends” that do not know me from a can of paint.  I cannot respect that you talked to your associates about me like I’m not about shit while allowing them to formulate an opinion and bash me. You get no love for being wack which is the category your actions fall under.

Regardless of all the shit Reuben does that I don’t agree with or thinks make sense I’ve never shown my disapproval to anyone else. Why? I would never allow anyone to drag his name and character through the mud. You don’t do that to your best friend or lover. It’s not okay and there is no way to justify it.  IT just goes to show some people are not ment to be trusted not even the people you lay down with.

Today I finally understand the saying “If you lie down with dogs you will wake up with fleas.” My fiance showed me the meaning of it and I am okay with that. For now, I will just assume he does not know better. One day he will. However, I can not teach him that because I have to wake him up. Show him how hard he is sleeping on an asset.

Rather he agrees or disagrees that on him.  He has a right to his opinion. However, all I request of him is to defend me when I can’t defend myself. Everything else will fall into suite afterwards, and if your not willing to do that then let me know and we can weigh all other options. Peace, love, and Dose of Daisy.

Posted in Dose of daisy, heartbreak, love, pain, thoughts, wordvomit

Sleep.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.

Bull shit. Bull shit. BULL FUCKING SHIT.

Words are engrained into your memory while those broken bones eventually heal and the scars fade away over time.

But, words linger.  They replay.  They never go away.  You’ll think that you forgot them until a similar situation occurs. Then, you will relive those words and have to retrain your mind to “forget” them.

While these words are forgotten they are locked in a little box in the back of your head. However, this box has a small hole in it. So, the words magically find their way out of it again.

“What one won’t do another one will.”

“Are you only using me to get through school.”

“I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“You would not have anything without me”

These are the words pouring out of my little box and my response to them is mixed.  They go like:

  1. Bitch please.
  2. You got me all types of fucked up.
  3. Damn, you really think I’m not shit.
  4. I can’t win.

But, when my responses are expressed I get ridiculed and told not to be sensitive cause you did not mean it that way. Well… how the fuck did you mean it this time?

Different day. Different words. Same correlation.

I can’t win. But, believe I’m trying.  I promise.

Just keep sleeping on me.  My moment will come sooner than you think. Just hope I don’t sleep on you.

Damn, I’m so fucking pissed.

Posted in Dose of daisy, love, relationships, thoughts

365 Days…

It all started in Gringo’s parking lot.

Reu and I were having our first date.

We had been waiting an entire hour only to find out the hostess hadn’t even placed us on the damn list.

So, we left. We got in the car and drove to different restaurants trying to find something to eat.

We probably went to 5 restaurants before deciding on my favorite pub.

They had good food, good drinks, sticky tables, and horrible live music.  But, it worked in our favor.

We sat and talked Continue reading “365 Days…”

Posted in Dose of daisy, thoughts

Carpe Diem.

It’s been awhile.

But, I could not wait to write any longer.  I felt that I had to post something because when you are out of sight you become out of mind.  So, now is the time to get back to the regular program.

Last month I applied for graduation.  The moment that my parents and grandparents probably thought would never arrive… Hell, for a brief moment I did not see it myself.  I was definitely lost, but now I am found.  So, now it is time to determine what will be next on my path.

As of this moment,  I just want to quit working cash out my imaginary millions and go travel the galaxy. But, unfortunately, that is just a dream for now.  My only two plans are to sprint across that stage August 12th and get accepted into graduate school.  Besides that I am taking everyday for what it is and enjoying the moment. Carpe diem. 

Seize the day.  That’s all I can do at this point. Meditation could not find me inner peace. So, my inner peace journey will continue. I just have to remain focused.

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Soul searching

I feel odd. I’m slowly finding my inner peace.  However, there is a void that I can’t fill. Is it mental, spiritual, physical, financial, or substantial? I absolutely have no clue. So, am searching different ways to consume it. I usually revert to blogging to fill my voids and release any pressure. But, writing is not filling this void at this moment.

I have so many different things I could write about, but I am not fulfilled at this moment. So, some much-needed soul searching is going to be completed. So, join me on this journey begins.

 

Posted in 30 day challenge, dieting, Dose of daisy, foodies, get fit, healthy eating, soul cleansing

Day 5: The 80/20 Rule

Hey, guys I know I skipped Day 4! But, saying thank you has always been a natural thing for me. So, I did not feel the need to deprive my already limited sleep to rant on being grateful.

However, today it begins to get a tad bit more challenging.  Today we start the 80/20 rule.  So, 80% of the time we will eat healthier and 20% of the time we can indulge in our guilty pleasures (like Red Velvet Cake).  The rules are not too drastic and are listed below.

1. Make wise food choices 80% of the time and make occasional allowances for “cheat” foods 20% of the time.
The 80% shows you are serious about doing something significant for yourself and your family. The 20% demonstrates that you are honest and humble enough to hang out with the rest of the world.

2. Stop eating when you are 80% full.
This helps your body digest more easily. Absorption and digestion are just as important as the types of food you eat. Have you ever heard that it takes 20 minutes for your brain to register that your stomach is full? Eating slow helps you to stop before your full!

I started off my morning with an avocado and two boiled eggs that I seasoned with cracked black pepper and sea salt. It was filling, but I would have rather had waffles drenched in syrup.  Resilience definitely cooked in full throttle this morning.   Praise to the highest for keeping me focused.  I washed it down with organic cranberry juice and chased my cranberry juice with 16 oz of water.   So I guess I am starting off strong.  Hopefully, I can make this a lifestyle change.

IF you need some guidance there is a ton of useful tips listed below. Good luck! Day 6 will be up within the next 24 hours. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

Be Choosy. Part of indulging wisely is figuring out what is really worth the indulgence and what splurging means to you. For instance, if you have a sweet tooth but you could take or leave french fries or potato chips, save your indulgences for dessert. When you’re confronted with unhealthy foods you don’t really crave or love, either skip those or substitute healthier foods so you have room for the indulgence you really want later.

Plan your 20% Indulgences Ahead. Every week, go over your schedule and pick the one day or specific moments when you want to allow yourself to enjoy the things you normally avoid. If you know you have a big event on Saturday night that might be the perfect occasion to indulge. Or if you know you have a birthday dinner with a friend on Wednesday, you might want to enjoy treats then. Regardless of the occasion or the timing, planning indulgences ahead of time gives you something to look forward to throughout the week so it’s easier to remain healthy the rest of the time.

Plan the other 80%. Plan your week’s meals and snacks so it’s easier to remain healthy 80% of the time. Make sure you shop for all the required ingredients and prepare to be successful in your planned meals. Think ahead, plan to succeed, and you’ll build a healthy habit of 80% nutritious meals.

Savor Your Splurges. When it’s time to indulge, ENJOY IT. Don’t let guilt get in the way or beat you up for having a treat. Be mindful, slow down, and savor every second.

Look at your plate before you eat. See if greens and vegetables take up 80% of the space. If not, subtract some starches or protein and add more vegetables!

 

 

Posted in 30 day challenge, Dose of daisy, fulfillment, love, meditation, Self-love, soul cleansing, thoughts

Day 3: Drink up

Today I failed the challenge. I drank two glasses of water and one cup of coffee. That was my hydration for the entire day.  Tomorrow I will aim for at least four glasses. This will probably be one of the most challenging parts of this challenge because I HATE water. But, I should be prevailing by day 30. 

Tomorrow’s challenge is rather simple. It is simply to say “Thank you.” This should not be a difficult challenge if you have manners. However, if you don’t have manners it is never to late to learn.  Start your morning by saying “Thank you for the ability to wake up.”  Then, as your days go on give thanks for all blessings received and small gestures and favors provided to you. 

This challenge should create a positive energy for you. But, keep in mind that when thanking other people they may not respond to you. It’s okay. Remember this challenge is personally for self improvement and cleansing. We do not care what other people are doing. Positive vibes are all we want to gain as we focus on our inner peace. So, kick butt! Thank you for participating with me on my journey. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

Posted in Uncategorized

Day 2: Say No to Junk

Today ends the second part of my 30 day soul cleanse.  I was challenged to give up processed food and only shop on the perimeter of the grocery store. That’s where the best quality of food is located I discovered. 

I think today was a success minus my daily cupcake. I ate lots of fruit and veggies.  I slipped up and ate some crawfish for dinner, but I think that’s still pretty good since the animal itself is not processed.  I felt today was easier than yesterday. Eating clean has never really been a challenge for me, though.  

However, I suck at meditation. I have difficulties relaxing my mind and tend to get drowsy if I become too relaxed. But, I am still sticking it out. I take my meditation one minute at a time 3-5 times a day.  It helped me out a lot. 

Tomorrow will be day 3 on my cleansing journey. The challenge is to drink more water. Personally, that is easier said than done. Not because I am a big juice and soda drinker, but simply because I rarely get thirsty or think about drinking fluids. I have already set me a reminder to water my tonsils. But, here are a few useful tips to help along the way. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy. 

Tips for consuming more agua:

1. Drink a glass of water as soon as you wake up in the morning. You’re groggy, your mouth is dry and you need a pick-me-up. Instead of going straight for the coffee (which is my modus operandi, don’t get me wrong), drink a nice refreshing glass of water first.


2. Carry a BPA free water bottle with you at all times and/or keep one at your desk at work. If you have a water bottle literally at your finger tips, you might find yourself unconsciously drinking more water throughout the day.


3. Track it. Make a chart and tick it off each time you drink a glass. Do a chart for 3 weeks and you will have made drinking water a part of your routine.


4. Substitute sparkling water for soda at lunch (or dinner or any time during the day). Kill two birds with one stone – eliminate that unhealthy soda from your diet and get more water into your system.


5. When the afternoon snack attack strikes, drink a glass of water instead. You might even find that the water quells your craving.


6. Drink a glass of water 30 minutes before every meal. This is an inspirational practice for me. I find it pretty difficult to remember to do this on a regular basis. But when I do, I notice that I don’t chow down as much when I sit down to eat my meal.


7. Go one-for-one at happy hour. When you’re enjoying a cocktail or two at happy hour or dinner or poolside, try to drink at least one glass of water (or, even just half a glass) for every alcoholic drink you take down. (It’s a great way to prevent a hangover the next day too).


9. Make it a challenge. If you are reading this, you most likely love to take on a good challenge! So if you’re like me and love a little friendly competition, make a bet with yourself (or have a friend challenge you). Say “Self, I bet you can’t drink 4 glasses of water today” and see if you can beat it. You can start low and gradually increase your target.


10. After each trip to the restroom, guzzle an eight-ounce glass to replenish your system.


11. Put reminders into your phone or calendar to drink at regular intervals. Surprisingly, this helps me a LOT! I know it sounds lame, but I just plain FORGET to drink water!

Posted in birthday, Dose of daisy, fulfillment, love, Self-love, thoughts

My Personal New Year

I had a birthday. It was amazing.  I stuffed my face and spent time with wonderful people. I got awesome gifts. My favorite one was the movie B.A.P.S. with a snack pack attached to it. I loved every moment of that day.

It was the first year since being “grown” that I did not feel the need to get “turnt up” and overly intoxicated.  I shocked my damn self.  I looked in the mirror and saw a different young woman.  It was not the struggling college student looking for acceptance.  Instead, I saw the woman I am becoming. A future forensic psychiatrist that creates.

See I have a dream.  I mean I have multiple dreams.  I want to write. I want to sew. I want to renovate. I want to travel more.  I want to spread my wings and soar.  I will do all these magnificent things because I am Daisy. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

 

Posted in 30 day challenge, fulfillment, meditation, Self-love, soul cleansing, thoughts, Uncategorized

Day 1: Meditation

Today was the first day of my soul cleanse. The first step was meditation.  It was hard.  I never thought sitting in silence for five minutes while taking slow, calm, deep breaths would be such a challenge.  But, I was wrong.

The first time I failed.  I could not relax my mind.  I thought about bills, graduating, work, blog ideas, and random irrelevant things. So, I waited a few hours and then tried it again.  I lasted about two minutes before my phone rang and I started chopping it up with my girls.

It was not until I got to the end of my server shift that I succeeded. I was doing my daily hide in the bathroom routine cause everyone is annoying routine. But, instead of scrolling Facebook. I relaxed and listened to the jazz playing over the loud speakers. It felt like it was an eternity more than a few minutes. Yet, it felt so good.

I loved it. I cannot wait to meditate again tomorrow.  I plan on letting the meditation come on to me instead of planning for it.  That works best for me.  I am also excited to see what tomorrow has in store.  Day two is saying no processed food.

I am nervous because tomorrow is one of my busy days. I work two jobs and have classes.  But, I will definitely try my hardest to triumph the challenge. There are tons of rules for this part. However, Rome was not built in a day and clean eating takes more than a day to adjust to. But, the guidelines below are very useful and important.

I look forward to sharing my experiences and possibly hearing yours. Motivate someone to better themselves. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

Instructions for eliminating processed foods from your diet.
If you can accomplish just one of these steps for this challenge, you’re moving in the right direction! But take the challenge to go for them all at least 80% of the time!

1. As a general rule, if you don’t recognize – or can’t pronounce – the words on a label, don’t buy it, or eat it. Opt instead for the real thing!

2. Avoid products containing: (Tip: bring this list to the grocery store with you!)
• Nitrates and nitrites (including sodium nitrite)
• Sulfites (including metabisulfites)
• Sulfur dioxide
• Benzoic acid (aka sodium benzoate)
• BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene)
• BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole)
• Coloring
• Coal tar
• Propylene glycol
• MSG (monosodium glutamate)
• Refined or bleached flour (i.e. whitened using chloride oxide)

3. Don’t eat partially hydrogenated or hydrogenated trans fats

4. Don’t eat products containing sugar substitutes such as saccharine and aspartame.

5. Avoid products with a long shelf life – the better they do on the shelf, the worse they are for your body.

6. Avoid products that have been enriched. They have been completely devitalized during processing.

7. Avoid food that has been genetically modified or engineered. Nearly all processed food contains GMOs. (1. Download the ShopNoGMO app to your iPhone, or print out a cheat sheet from http://www.nongmoshoppingguide.com/. Both list products—from cereals to condiments to baby food—that avoid GM ingredients.)

8. Avoid products made with ingredients euphemistically described as “natural flavoring” or “natural coloring.” Don’t be fooled by the advertising!

9. Avoid products with added sugar and high fructose corn syrup– watch for words with “-ose” endings such as glucose.

10. Avoid products that add nitrites and other additives to processed meat

Tip: Shop the perimeter of the store! Most processed foods and their tempting, enticing packaging is found in the isles!
As you begin to eliminate processed food from your diet, and start to enjoy eating real food that has not been processed to death, you will be on your way to optimizing your health, making an investment in your body’s future and, ultimately, feeling so much better!

Health Eating Guidelines – What is left to eat?!

1. More fruits and vegetables. Go for 7-11 servings a day!

2. Eat more whole foods. Fresh, whole, unprocessed, unrefined foods are always healthy foods.
Whole foods include fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, whole grains, beans and other legumes, nuts, seeds, seaweed (sea vegetables), unprocessed meat without additives, wild caught fish and shellfish without additives, raw milk, and free range organic eggs.

3. Use unrefined salt. (Himalayan Sea Salt is a good alternative)

4. Eat healthy fats instead of unhealthy fats.
Some healthy fats: extra virgin olive oil, unrefined flax seed oil, unrefined coconut oil, butter, nuts and nut butters.
Some unhealthy fats: trans fats (partially hydrogenated oils), margarine, commercial salad dressing, refined vegetable oils.

5. Try adding more superfoods to your diet. Download your superfoods shopping list here…Superfoods Shopping List
A superfood has concentrated nutrients, often nutrients that aren’t available in other foods!

6. Eat more foods that are extracted, cultured, or otherwise prepared with traditional methods, rather than with modern industrial food processing methods. An example is traditionally-made (not commercially made) sauerkraut.

7. If possible, eat more organic foods. Organic foods can be found at farmers markets, natural food stores and health food stores, but also at Wal-Mart, many supermarkets, and online stores. The EWG has released the new 2014 Dirty Dozen & Clean 15 Fruits and Vegetable List 2014 Dirty Dozen and Clean Fifteen

Do restaurants serve real food? Unfortunately, no. Restaurants typically serve food that has been prepared, even pre-cooked, offsite in an industrial facility. It is the saddest of healthy eating facts that this can be so difficult to perceive. Typical restaurant meals are loaded with food additives, especially MSG and trans fats. One third of American calories are from meals eaten in restaurants. So, it’s a good idea to eat out less, and consider it part of your 20% when you do!

Posted in Dose of daisy, love, relationships, thoughts, Uncategorized

Dear Diary,

Dear diary,

It has been a minute.  Things have gotten better.  I’m not saying that they are perfect, but we are in a good place.  We have accepted our own feelings and we have accepted each other’s feelings.

Although, we do not necessarily agree on the choices that the other made we are accepting of them.  Why? We accept them because we want to reach our happy median and support one another.  We are learning not to kick each other while we are down anymore.

So far, it is working.  Wounds are slowly healing and forgiveness is continuing to increase. It is all a part of us letting things go.   This is a lot easier being said than actually being completed.  But, it is worth every single try and that is what counts.

I am personally working hard on letting the past be the past. But, it is hard some days. I was always taught to forgive but never forget.  This advice used to be my motto that I lived by. But, I cannot stand that phrase.  I forgave Reu for hurting my feeling and I am constantly trying to leave the past in the past. But, unfortunately, I cannot forget. The unintended harshness felt replays

I forgave Reu for hurting my feeling and I am constantly trying to leave the past in the past. But, unfortunately, I cannot forget. The unintended harshness felt replays in my head on a daily basis.  I do my best to ignore it and focus on the good which outweighs the bad. But, that day is unforgettable. It sucks.

So, what am I to do? I honestly can only continue to remain positive.  For every negative, I think of a positive.  This keeps me going. This helps keep us going.  It’s crazy how this thing called “love” works out. But, I wouldn’t quit trying to figure it out if my life depended on it. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

Posted in 30 day challenge, Dose of daisy, fulfillment, meditation, Self-love, Uncategorized

30 Day Body-Mind-Spirit Challenge

Today, I decided to start a soul cleansing.  I was suffering from too much negativity and stress. So, I decided to complete a challenge because blogging is not filling enough at this moment.

I searched all over for a 30-day challenge and stumbled across http://amazingjourneycoach.com/bodymindspirit-challenge-resource-page.  So, today I would like to invite everyone to join in my journey to achieve peace with self.

Today is day one.  I will be starting off with meditation after I finish my paper for class. I will be starting off with 5 minutes for the first three days until I fill like I can complete the process without distractions.

For my meditation, I will be finding me a cozy bench in a sunny area to easy my mind.  I’m choosing this area because this is one of my happy places.  I love enjoying the breeze and am excited to give this a shot.

Below I will post the instructions for techniques. Feel free to comment if you would like to know more techniques or share the aftermath.  I will update you as it continues. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

 

How to Meditate:
There are many different meditation techniques you can use. However, if you’ve never meditated before, give this simple process a try.:
1. Find a comfortable position to sit where you won’t be disturbed
2. Close your eyes and begin breathing in and out through your nose
3. Focus on your breath. Breathe in and count 1, breathe out and count 2. Continue counting until you reach 10 and start back at 1 again
4. If your mind wanders, simply forgive yourself and focus again on your breathing. Starting your count again at 1.
If you are just beginning, I suggest starting with just 5 minutes a day and working your way up from there. Keep increasing the time until you can focus steadily for 20–30 minutes each day.
It takes some time to build the mental muscle to focus and clear your mind. The first few times you do this, you’ll find you’re constantly working at bringing your focus back to your breath. That’s okay. It’s totally normal. Most of us aren’t used to focusing on something for that long. Just keep at it; before long, your focus muscles will start building and you will be easily counting up to ten without your mind wandering away on you.
I urge you to give the practice of a daily quiet time a try. It will take some time to get used to it, but give it at least this 30 day trial period. It isn’t for everybody, but most people who regularly meditate really appreciate all the benefits it provides.