Posted in Dose of daisy, heartbreak, love, pain, personal growth, relationships, Self-love, transitioning

Memoirs of an Ex…

Yesterday was a new experience.  It was the day I finally had my breakdown.  He had asked me to come talk. He wanted to clear his chest.

He had previously asked me to come talk. He wanted to clear his chest. I was on the fence about it.

I was curious.  I wanted to know what hurtful things would come out of his mouth next.  I was mentally preparing all my come backs and slick remarks. I was ready to play defense and hit him where it would hurt.  I wanted him to feel like shit just like I had the last six months. Smh…

But, I did not do it.  Instead, I took a rain check.  Followed by a couple more rain checks.  I waited until I could fathom the idea without becoming infuriated.  I am so glad I did.

By waiting I was able to enter the situation level headed with a clear train of thought. The first thing that he did was asked for a hug.  I accepted the unfamilure

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Posted in Dose of daisy, fulfillment, heartbreak, love, pain, relationships, Self-love, thoughts, wordvomit

Dear Diary…

Today is a new day and I am in a better head space than yesterday.  Am I over the situation? No.  Will I move on from it? Eventually.  Can I let it go? Never.

Why not?

I can not let it go because Reuben is my other half.  When I map out my future plans and career goals I include him.  He’s supposed to one day become my husband.  That is the ultimate goal.  Whether it’s a long-term goal or short-term depends on the alignment of the stars. But, I know that I definitely want it to happen nonetheless.

So, when Reu critics me his words stick like a staple.  See I want us to reflect each other and always compliment one another, but I cannot do that.  It would be too much to ask of him because in his eyes I’m not a college educated, hard-working woman, which is what I strive so hard to remain.  Instead, I am a unmotivated, financial burden.

It’s not that he does not respect my grind he simply just does not understand it because we are on two totally different career paths. That’s fine. To each its own.  I can respect that to a certain extent.

However, there is a BUT!

I can respect his opinion to a certain extent until it is shared with his “associates” or “friends” that do not know me from a can of paint.  I cannot respect that you talked to your associates about me like I’m not about shit while allowing them to formulate an opinion and bash me. You get no love for being wack which is the category your actions fall under.

Regardless of all the shit Reuben does that I don’t agree with or thinks make sense I’ve never shown my disapproval to anyone else. Why? I would never allow anyone to drag his name and character through the mud. You don’t do that to your best friend or lover. It’s not okay and there is no way to justify it.  IT just goes to show some people are not ment to be trusted not even the people you lay down with.

Today I finally understand the saying “If you lie down with dogs you will wake up with fleas.” My fiance showed me the meaning of it and I am okay with that. For now, I will just assume he does not know better. One day he will. However, I can not teach him that because I have to wake him up. Show him how hard he is sleeping on an asset.

Rather he agrees or disagrees that on him.  He has a right to his opinion. However, all I request of him is to defend me when I can’t defend myself. Everything else will fall into suite afterwards, and if your not willing to do that then let me know and we can weigh all other options. Peace, love, and Dose of Daisy.

Posted in 30 day challenge, Dose of daisy, fulfillment, love, meditation, Self-love, soul cleansing, thoughts

Day 3: Drink up

Today I failed the challenge. I drank two glasses of water and one cup of coffee. That was my hydration for the entire day.  Tomorrow I will aim for at least four glasses. This will probably be one of the most challenging parts of this challenge because I HATE water. But, I should be prevailing by day 30. 

Tomorrow’s challenge is rather simple. It is simply to say “Thank you.” This should not be a difficult challenge if you have manners. However, if you don’t have manners it is never to late to learn.  Start your morning by saying “Thank you for the ability to wake up.”  Then, as your days go on give thanks for all blessings received and small gestures and favors provided to you. 

This challenge should create a positive energy for you. But, keep in mind that when thanking other people they may not respond to you. It’s okay. Remember this challenge is personally for self improvement and cleansing. We do not care what other people are doing. Positive vibes are all we want to gain as we focus on our inner peace. So, kick butt! Thank you for participating with me on my journey. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

Posted in birthday, Dose of daisy, fulfillment, love, Self-love, thoughts

My Personal New Year

I had a birthday. It was amazing.  I stuffed my face and spent time with wonderful people. I got awesome gifts. My favorite one was the movie B.A.P.S. with a snack pack attached to it. I loved every moment of that day.

It was the first year since being “grown” that I did not feel the need to get “turnt up” and overly intoxicated.  I shocked my damn self.  I looked in the mirror and saw a different young woman.  It was not the struggling college student looking for acceptance.  Instead, I saw the woman I am becoming. A future forensic psychiatrist that creates.

See I have a dream.  I mean I have multiple dreams.  I want to write. I want to sew. I want to renovate. I want to travel more.  I want to spread my wings and soar.  I will do all these magnificent things because I am Daisy. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

 

Posted in 30 day challenge, fulfillment, meditation, Self-love, soul cleansing, thoughts, Uncategorized

Day 1: Meditation

Today was the first day of my soul cleanse. The first step was meditation.  It was hard.  I never thought sitting in silence for five minutes while taking slow, calm, deep breaths would be such a challenge.  But, I was wrong.

The first time I failed.  I could not relax my mind.  I thought about bills, graduating, work, blog ideas, and random irrelevant things. So, I waited a few hours and then tried it again.  I lasted about two minutes before my phone rang and I started chopping it up with my girls.

It was not until I got to the end of my server shift that I succeeded. I was doing my daily hide in the bathroom routine cause everyone is annoying routine. But, instead of scrolling Facebook. I relaxed and listened to the jazz playing over the loud speakers. It felt like it was an eternity more than a few minutes. Yet, it felt so good.

I loved it. I cannot wait to meditate again tomorrow.  I plan on letting the meditation come on to me instead of planning for it.  That works best for me.  I am also excited to see what tomorrow has in store.  Day two is saying no processed food.

I am nervous because tomorrow is one of my busy days. I work two jobs and have classes.  But, I will definitely try my hardest to triumph the challenge. There are tons of rules for this part. However, Rome was not built in a day and clean eating takes more than a day to adjust to. But, the guidelines below are very useful and important.

I look forward to sharing my experiences and possibly hearing yours. Motivate someone to better themselves. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

Instructions for eliminating processed foods from your diet.
If you can accomplish just one of these steps for this challenge, you’re moving in the right direction! But take the challenge to go for them all at least 80% of the time!

1. As a general rule, if you don’t recognize – or can’t pronounce – the words on a label, don’t buy it, or eat it. Opt instead for the real thing!

2. Avoid products containing: (Tip: bring this list to the grocery store with you!)
• Nitrates and nitrites (including sodium nitrite)
• Sulfites (including metabisulfites)
• Sulfur dioxide
• Benzoic acid (aka sodium benzoate)
• BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene)
• BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole)
• Coloring
• Coal tar
• Propylene glycol
• MSG (monosodium glutamate)
• Refined or bleached flour (i.e. whitened using chloride oxide)

3. Don’t eat partially hydrogenated or hydrogenated trans fats

4. Don’t eat products containing sugar substitutes such as saccharine and aspartame.

5. Avoid products with a long shelf life – the better they do on the shelf, the worse they are for your body.

6. Avoid products that have been enriched. They have been completely devitalized during processing.

7. Avoid food that has been genetically modified or engineered. Nearly all processed food contains GMOs. (1. Download the ShopNoGMO app to your iPhone, or print out a cheat sheet from http://www.nongmoshoppingguide.com/. Both list products—from cereals to condiments to baby food—that avoid GM ingredients.)

8. Avoid products made with ingredients euphemistically described as “natural flavoring” or “natural coloring.” Don’t be fooled by the advertising!

9. Avoid products with added sugar and high fructose corn syrup– watch for words with “-ose” endings such as glucose.

10. Avoid products that add nitrites and other additives to processed meat

Tip: Shop the perimeter of the store! Most processed foods and their tempting, enticing packaging is found in the isles!
As you begin to eliminate processed food from your diet, and start to enjoy eating real food that has not been processed to death, you will be on your way to optimizing your health, making an investment in your body’s future and, ultimately, feeling so much better!

Health Eating Guidelines – What is left to eat?!

1. More fruits and vegetables. Go for 7-11 servings a day!

2. Eat more whole foods. Fresh, whole, unprocessed, unrefined foods are always healthy foods.
Whole foods include fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, whole grains, beans and other legumes, nuts, seeds, seaweed (sea vegetables), unprocessed meat without additives, wild caught fish and shellfish without additives, raw milk, and free range organic eggs.

3. Use unrefined salt. (Himalayan Sea Salt is a good alternative)

4. Eat healthy fats instead of unhealthy fats.
Some healthy fats: extra virgin olive oil, unrefined flax seed oil, unrefined coconut oil, butter, nuts and nut butters.
Some unhealthy fats: trans fats (partially hydrogenated oils), margarine, commercial salad dressing, refined vegetable oils.

5. Try adding more superfoods to your diet. Download your superfoods shopping list here…Superfoods Shopping List
A superfood has concentrated nutrients, often nutrients that aren’t available in other foods!

6. Eat more foods that are extracted, cultured, or otherwise prepared with traditional methods, rather than with modern industrial food processing methods. An example is traditionally-made (not commercially made) sauerkraut.

7. If possible, eat more organic foods. Organic foods can be found at farmers markets, natural food stores and health food stores, but also at Wal-Mart, many supermarkets, and online stores. The EWG has released the new 2014 Dirty Dozen & Clean 15 Fruits and Vegetable List 2014 Dirty Dozen and Clean Fifteen

Do restaurants serve real food? Unfortunately, no. Restaurants typically serve food that has been prepared, even pre-cooked, offsite in an industrial facility. It is the saddest of healthy eating facts that this can be so difficult to perceive. Typical restaurant meals are loaded with food additives, especially MSG and trans fats. One third of American calories are from meals eaten in restaurants. So, it’s a good idea to eat out less, and consider it part of your 20% when you do!

Posted in 30 day challenge, Dose of daisy, fulfillment, meditation, Self-love, Uncategorized

30 Day Body-Mind-Spirit Challenge

Today, I decided to start a soul cleansing.  I was suffering from too much negativity and stress. So, I decided to complete a challenge because blogging is not filling enough at this moment.

I searched all over for a 30-day challenge and stumbled across http://amazingjourneycoach.com/bodymindspirit-challenge-resource-page.  So, today I would like to invite everyone to join in my journey to achieve peace with self.

Today is day one.  I will be starting off with meditation after I finish my paper for class. I will be starting off with 5 minutes for the first three days until I fill like I can complete the process without distractions.

For my meditation, I will be finding me a cozy bench in a sunny area to easy my mind.  I’m choosing this area because this is one of my happy places.  I love enjoying the breeze and am excited to give this a shot.

Below I will post the instructions for techniques. Feel free to comment if you would like to know more techniques or share the aftermath.  I will update you as it continues. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.

 

How to Meditate:
There are many different meditation techniques you can use. However, if you’ve never meditated before, give this simple process a try.:
1. Find a comfortable position to sit where you won’t be disturbed
2. Close your eyes and begin breathing in and out through your nose
3. Focus on your breath. Breathe in and count 1, breathe out and count 2. Continue counting until you reach 10 and start back at 1 again
4. If your mind wanders, simply forgive yourself and focus again on your breathing. Starting your count again at 1.
If you are just beginning, I suggest starting with just 5 minutes a day and working your way up from there. Keep increasing the time until you can focus steadily for 20–30 minutes each day.
It takes some time to build the mental muscle to focus and clear your mind. The first few times you do this, you’ll find you’re constantly working at bringing your focus back to your breath. That’s okay. It’s totally normal. Most of us aren’t used to focusing on something for that long. Just keep at it; before long, your focus muscles will start building and you will be easily counting up to ten without your mind wandering away on you.
I urge you to give the practice of a daily quiet time a try. It will take some time to get used to it, but give it at least this 30 day trial period. It isn’t for everybody, but most people who regularly meditate really appreciate all the benefits it provides.

Posted in Dose of daisy, love, Self-love, thoughts

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I’m sensitive. I also take everything to heart. Oh well. Bite me! My fiancé has told me those things everyday since we started dating. Yet, he still does things to make me show my sensitive layer on a regular basis. Both positive and negative. 

Since I decided I want to move our emotional roller coaster has been all over the place. But, the overall standing point is unclear. It feels like we are good, but Reu makes little comments that make me second guess. Of course, if he’s upset I will accept that because he is entitled to his own feelings. However, it’s hard for me to find sympathy when thoughts of his words constantly linger. 

Although, this was the first time he directly insinuated I was using him. It’s not the first and I can guarantee it won’t be the last time that he will remind me of all the things that he is capable of doing and has done. That’s his thing. He enjoys doing things out the goodness of his heart because he is selfless. Yet, the moment he becomes upset he’s ready to tell the world that he’s the reason why.  It’s crazy and makes my skin itch. 

But, for some odd reason it is my fuel to move amongst many other things.