I woke up this morning sweating with my heart beating out of my chest while in search of the bitch that this man, MY MAN (supposedly), had left me for in the realistic nightmare I was experiencing. What the hell is happening to me? I am slowly loosing any sense of sanity that I possessed and allowing my mind to have its way with me.
Is this a sign? Is it a vision? Or is it the pessimist in me preparing for the absolute worst? I honestly have no clue. But, I do not like it. I hate this feeling. Especially, the part that has me acting crazy looking in jean pockets for possible receipts or event tickets.
Who is it? What is it? He says there is no one else. But, yet someone is in his ear feeding him Grade A bullshit. They fed him enough bull to casually call me a liar and accuse me of using him for my personal convenience. But, he claims it was just him being cautious…. bitch, please.
I know my man well enough to understand how his mind works and this is out of the ordinary. Or is it? Maybe this is the real him and his true colors are finally showing. I honestly do not know, but I am accepting it for what it is becoming.
As of this moment, we still have not discussed the verbal exchange that took place in depth. Reu seems to be suffering from a mere case of amnesia. But, at this point, I am only dumbfounded and confused by his lack of memories. Especially, since he can give a play by play memory of the very first conversation that we ever had. But, to each it’s own. I can only wonder what the rest of this week entails and pray for a direct answer to my thoughts and concerns. However, I will continue to wait until his memory returns. Peace, love, and a dose of Daisy.