Yesterday was a DAY that led to today being an even shittier day. In a matter of five minutes, I reevaluated my entire relationship. Needless, to say I never felt this low or shitty in my entire life. For the first time in my life, a relationship made me cry. I slowly wiped tears of frustration, hurt, and betrayal, so that, I could prepare to work my secondary shift, but unfortunately I could not bring myself together.
My mind raced as I constantly questioned is a relationship worth my sanity, dignity, and pride. How could someone switch up on me in the blink of an eye? I mean I noticed changes in demeanor and affection, but I didn’t want to let negative thoughts consume my mind. I should have, though. Maybe these changes were signs. I still don’t even know.
All I know is the mood has changed. Eye contact is being avoided. Thoughts, words, and opinions are being held inside. I am no longer hearing the wedding bells and imagining a future with the man I love so deeply. To question my genuineness was probably the deepest cut I ever felt. But, what is done is done and unfortunately, it can be forgiven and forgotten, but it can not be reversed. So what do I do now?
I patiently am waiting. Waiting on the truth to come to light and a verdict to be made while mentally preparing for the worst. I will continue to move gracefully with genuine intentions or at least try it. But, if all fails I will take it as a lesson learned. Only time will tell. So, let the hourglass begin it’s course. Good night. Peace, love, and a dose of Daisy.