“Where would I be without my baby? The thought alone might break me.” These lyrics describe how I feel about my honey. Who would have thought we would have gotten so far in such a short amount of time? Definitely not either one of us, but look at us now. Seven months down the line and we are shacking up and engaged. Ha! I never even saw it coming. I am glad that it did though.
Now, a lot of people have questioned me and Reuben’s dating timeline, our love, and our dedication to our relationship which resulted in me occasionally having to question US myself. I mean sure it has not even been a year yet. However, over time I am rapidly beginning to realize it is nobody’s business, but ours.
See me and Reuben started talking in early April. Then we had our first official date at this little Tex-mex spot called Gringos a few weeks later. After we had our first date we were inseparable. We spent 90% of our time together learning one another’s mannerisms, and the other 10% of the time we were talking and texting on the phone. By Cinco de Mayo Mr. Reubie Reu was trying to make this thang official and I was all for it. Let the judging begin.
When this happened I could not wait to tell my girls cause I was the Nation’s Record Holder for not being able to get a man or even keep one. So, I was feeling myself while on cloud 900. But, of course there is always that one Negative Nancy that wants to shit on your joy. This Nancy could not wait to find flaws in our bond, so that, I would want to regain membership to the Bitter Bitches Club. However, that was not going to happen on my watch. Me and the Reu had discussed our timeline and repeatedly reminded one another that nobody elses opinion mattered. Long as we were good everyone else was irrelevant. Which led us to keep pushing.
Now we were not perfect and I could not pretend we were even if I wanted to, but we are perfect for each other. However, we know what works for us and we use it to our advantage. But, I will be the first to say become happy and true colors will begin to show. Nancy stayed in the picture due to her being one of my closest friends; I just made it my duty to keep her out my relationship regardless of good or bad. Until August came around and my lease with my roommates ended and we all decided to go our separate ways. At this time Reuben invited me to come shack it up. I work late nights serving and am currently a struggling college student so I was not completely opposed to the idea. Yet, it was new to the both of us. Neither of us had lived with a significant other and the timeline issue resurfaced again.
I was already had doubts because I did not believe in shacking up because I felt it made people become comfortable. I also thought it would reduce my already low chances at becoming a wife. So, I went to seek some advice from some friends and colleagues. MAjority of them were skeptical and thought it was too soon or just did not believe in living with someone without a ring which started to somewhat discourage me. Until I spoke with my coworkers Jo-nate and the Ripp. Jo-nate just told me to consider all options and do what was best for not only me, but me and Reuben as a team. But, the Ripp told me to just do it. I thought she was crazy. She did not give me an explanation until days later. But, when she explained it everything made sense. She simply said “You won’t know if it works for you if you do not do it. If it does not fit for you then you can always move out and find another place. Just have faith and go into it open-minded.” So, I did it!
Mid-August I moved in and we made it work. It was so simple. Yes, we clashed and had to find our balance which we continuosly are working on. But, it has been one of the best parts of our relationship in my personal opinion.
Living together definitely brought us closer. It also built up our communication. I thought we had great communication until we moved in together. Yet, I was partially wrong. We both had some growing to do. We needed to learn how to talk it out instead of give one another the silent treatment when upset. We also learned proper interpretation of words. We often would interpret each others words for what we wanted them to be rather than for what they really meant. For example, my go to phrase is “I guess,” I use it when I am still formulating a real response, when I am neutral on a situation, or as a way to cut a conversation short. But, Reuben would take it as I was not feeling something and an attitude was brewing which was not usually the case. Although, I would explain this to him he already had this assumption set and would take my response negatively. Just like I would take silence negatively. I had to accept that silence is not always a bad thing. Some people legitimately like moments alone to meditate. Every minute did not need require conversation. We began to get it.
We developed our niche and ironed out our kinks. We realized that we could live separately if needed, but neither one of us had the desire to do so… at least not for longer than a few hours after pessimistic bickering. We made it our duty to state our issues and dislikes immediately, have moments to ourselve, and to still go on dates like we did prior to or cohabitating. This works for us and helped my boo realize he was ready to pop the million dollar question.
Yes, he did seven months of dating and I became a fiancé. Yes, I did. Christmas of 2016 will remain unforgettable. It will be one of the happiest days of my life, even though, I am not a fan of Christmas (I’ll save that tangent for another day). Then, to make it even better the moment he asked me to marry him a timeline never crossed my mind. It was in that minute I realized you cannot put a time limit on a relationship.
When you choose to be with someone make sure you allow God to set up his agenda for your relationship. The timing is not on your call. Just go with the flow of things and ignore everyone else because their opinions will set you back. Listening to the Ripp and taking a chance led me to finding my happiness, and I would not change anything about it. My journey has been everything I ever dreamed of and more. I can not wait to become a Johnson and share the good, bad, and ugly with you. Just wait on it. Peace, love, and a Dose of Daisy.